A Phantasmagoria by Colin Weaver from Februs 14. Any commissioning editors out there?
Sooner or later the censors will have to admit defeat. It will become generally accepted that an interest in CP is not the bizarre obsession of a few perverts, but something with a strong appeal to millions of people in this varied and versatile world. CP for punishment, CP for pleasure, CP for all the fascinating byways of that delightfully debatable area between the two.
This change of attitude will be reflected in the press, on the stage and cinema screen, but most of all on television. There could even be a special CP channel, but it’s more likely that the kind of programme with which we are already familiar will be adjusted to include a CP element.
So we may, for example, see a new soap opera in which several of the female characters experience a well-whacked rear end from time to time. A typical episode might open in the living room of George and Harriet Megson, a no-nonsense, middle-aged Northern couple. The time is 11.15pm; the Megsons are obviously waiting for someone and far from pleased about it. ‘Where’s that lass got to?’ demands George. ‘She knows well enough she was supposed to be back by half past ten. My word, I’ll give her what for when she gets home!’
There is the sound of entry through outer door and the ‘lass’ appears. She is Vicky Sourcill from Essex, an extremely attractive brunette of twenty-five, engaged in post-graduate study of Northern habits and customs. She is lodging with the Megsons, partly because of the lack of local hotel accommodation and partly because it helps her to gather material for her forthcoming book, North of Watford Gap. The conditions upon which she is allowed to live there were made bluntly clear to her on her arrival and it is obvious that she is very apprehensive.
‘I’m afraid I’m a little late,’ she says brightly. ‘I got talking to this really interesting chap in the White Bull and I rather lost track of the time. I’m awfully sorry.’
‘You’re going to be!’ says Harriet, in ominous tones.
‘While you’re under our roof,’ says George, ‘you’ll follow our rules. You remember what happened on Monday night, don’t you?’
‘Yes,’ says Vicky, feelingly, ‘and I was only ten minutes late, too!’
‘That’s why I only put you across my knee and smacked your bottom,’ says George. (An episode praised by the critics and greatly appreciated by eleven million viewers). ‘This time you’re in for a right leathering.’
He opens a drawer in the old-fashioned sideboard and produces a formidable tawse. ‘Twelve across your backside with this will give you something to think about, young lady!’
A momentary expression of surprise appears on the face of the actress playing Vicky. She is almost sure that the script only said ten, but to argue now will only cause delay and greatly displease the producer, with very painful consequences later. So all she says, meekly, is, ‘Yes, Mr Megson.’
‘Get over the arm of the settee, then, Vicky.’
When Vicky is in position, it is Harriet who turns up her skirt and slides the panties down her long, black-nyloned legs to expose what is generally agreed to be one of the most fanciable bottoms in show business. As George moves round behind her Vicky closes her eyes and takes a firm grip on the settee cushions. Jesus! she thinks, is this why I worked so hard to get an Equity card? And then the first full-blooded stroke of the tawse thwacks solidly across her defenceless bare buttocks.
After Vicky has left the room in floods of completely authentic tears, Harriet turns to George. ‘Eeeh, George!’ she says, ‘that’s made me feel all sort of — you know! Shall we go upstairs?’
‘In a few minutes, love,’ says George. ‘You know what comes first, don’t you?’
Indeed she does, and as soon as he sits down she positions herself, face down across his lap, squirming with excitement as he starts to bare her bottom. And so another episode of Strictly Speaking proceeds.
There will surely be quizzes and game shows with a CP element. Let’s join the audience for Be Right or Be Sorry!, hosted by Dapper Don Devereux with his two smiling, matronly assistants known simply as ‘Mrs A’ and ‘Mrs B’. There are four contestants chosen from the many thousands who have applied to take part in the show. Maddie Brightwell, an eighteen-year-old check-out girl at a Manchester supermarket. Joanna Greene, twenty-five, a solicitor’s clerk from Llandudno. Sandra Egan, a twenty-nine year old housewife from Crewe. And Claire Lamson from London, who is thirty-two and describes herself as a businesswoman.
There are attractive prizes on offer; exotic holidays, expensive clothes, jewellery, the latest household appliances. There are also penalties for those contestants who are hesitant, ill-informed or simply unlucky. In the centre of the studio is a punishment bench covered with padded black leather. It is constructed in an L-shaped design so that culprits may adopt a variety of positions. Standing behind the waist-high upright of the L and bending over with hands on the horizontal level. Kneeling on the lower part with bottom thrust out to invite correction. Lying face down across the lower part or going across someone’s knee while the spanker sits there. It is almost certain that all the girls appearing tonight will find themselves in at least one of those positions in the next forty minutes. The bench can be swivelled round so that the girl under punishment can be displayed from the side, from the rear, with frequent close-ups of her suffering bottom, or from the front, showing her facial reactions.
The first round is a quick-fire series of general knowledge questions. The first girl to answer correctly has a green light against her name on an indicator board. An incorrect answer gives her a red light and the question is offered again to the other girls. To penalise the over-cautious, a red light also goes to any girl who fails to attempt to answer three questions in succession. Three consecutive wrong answers also gets a red light. At the end of the round, the girl with the best score is handed a golden token which will help her qualify for one of the main prizes. The girl with the worst score, as shown by the number of red lights against her name which have not been cancelled by green ones, is instructed to step forward to the punishment bench.
This time, Joanna is awarded the token, which she accepts with a complacent smile, and it is Sandra who must report for punishment. She obeys nervously, very much aware of the attention of the audience and of the cameras focused upon her.
‘Ready to have your bottom warmed, Sandra?’ says Don, genially. Sandra knew what she was letting herself in for when she applied to come on the show She licks her lips nervously, tries to smile, and says, ‘Yes, Don.’
He turns to the audience. ‘Sandra’s been a naughty girl, hasn’t she? What do naughty girls deserve?’
There is an enthusiastic answering chorus. ‘A — good — sound — spanking!’
He turns back to Sandra. ‘Take your pick, dear. Mrs A or Mrs B?’
Sandra looks at the two matrons. Both are big, handsome, fortyish women wearing costumes which show muscular bare arms and broad, firm thighs. One of them, she knows, will spank her with her open hand. The other, more painfully, will be allowed to use a leather paddle. Which should he choose? The audience know which one has the paddle but she does not. She has watched the show many times and knows that an appeal to the audience will only bring an uproar of jeers and conflicting advice, some of it meant to deceive. Better to make the choice quickly and get it over with. ‘Mrs B, please,’ she says.
Mrs B comes forward, smiling, her hands empty. ‘You’ve missed the paddle this time, Sandra,’ she says. She sits on the lower part of the bench. ‘Come on, dear, over you go.’
Scarlet-faced, Sandra wriggles into position across the other woman’s lap. It is by no means her first adult spanking, but she has never been spanked in public before. Like the other contestants, she has worn a short pleated skirt for the occasion, since trousers or tight skirts are generally removed completely before a spanking. Now her skirt is turned up, showing deliberately plain white knickers.
Don turns to the audience again. ‘Knickers up or knickers down?’ he cries.
A unanimous answer, louder than before. ‘Knickers down!’
Lying there with her knickers round her knees, Sandra can only think that she had actually told all her friends she was going to be on the show, invited them to watch! Then Mrs B spanks her. It is not a really severe spanking — after all, Sandra has the rest of the show to get through — but it stings and burns and it is intensely humiliating, so that Sandra cannot help shedding a few tears when she is allowed to rise and pull her knickers up.
To help her regain her composure, Sandra is not included in the next round, which is called Specialities. Each girl is allowed to choose a subject on which she will answer six questions. However, both of her rivals are allowed to choose another subject for her to answer six questions on, naturally hoping that she will be ignorant of it. So that Maddie, who chooses ‘Pop Hits of the Nineties’ as her subject also has to answer questions on ‘The History of Tapestry’ (Joanna) and ‘Butterflies of the Far East’ (Claire).
At the end of this round, Joanna, who has been reckless in her own answers and over-confident in selecting subjects for the others, has the worst score.
‘You have a choice, Joanna,’ says Don, smoothly. You can give up the token you have already won — or you can bend over for six strokes of the cane on your bare bottom.’
Joanna, quaking and crestfallen, considers the alternatives. To give up the token will endanger her chance of the tropical holiday on which she has set her heart. The cane? Well, working as she does for a man with old-fashioned ideas of discipline, the cane will be no novelty. Unpleasant, yes, especially in front of the cameras, but… ‘I’ll take the cane,’ says Joanna.
Don leads her to the punishment bench and invites her to take down her panties. Then she bends over the upright of the bench with her hands on the lower level. Her skirt is lifted and pinned up behind her. She is a slim girl and her buttocks are firm, compact ovals of creamy flesh. Don gently touches the centre of her bottom with the cane and she gulps but manages not to flinch. She is intensely aware of millions of eyes focussed upon her vulnerable rump.
Then there is an impact, a streak of fire across her bottom, and Joanna is being publicly caned. Don is an expert with the cane and he takes his time, creating a pattern of scorching parallel weals across the writhing flesh of Joanna’s tormented bottom. Despite her firm resolve to be brave, Joanna is crying after the fourth stroke. Still, she stays in place to receive the last two, knowing that the girl who attempts to avoid chastisement incurs not only immediate expulsion from the game but widespread public ridicule.
The game goes on for several more rounds, with punishment fairly equally shared, so that each contestant has a very hot and sore bottom before the final results are arrived at, and Sandra is proclaimed the winner. She goes off rapturously with the prize, while the other girls glumly await the penalties of failure. These are decided by a judge selected by each girl during the game. Did she try really hard, or not give a toss? Was she warm-hearted, funny and brave or sulky, snobbish and disgruntled? Eventually the verdicts are passed. Maddie goes across the lap of Mrs A to have her teenage bum roasted on the bench with her plump bare bottom exposed to a blazing dozen with a Lochgelly tawse from Don. And Joanne howls and blubbers across Mrs B’s lap while she has her bottom very thoroughly smacked, before being handed over to Don for the maximum eighteen strokes of the birch.
There are, of course, more serious approaches to the subject Earnest programmes in which panels of experts discuss such matters as the proper methods of physical correction for female employees. In a large organisation, should an erring girl be spanked by her immediate superior or sent to a specially appointed and trained punishment officer? If a girl has to bend over for six of the best, should she be expected to return to her task immediately afterwards or should a cooling-off period be allowed? When a member of the public has been affronted by the culprit, should the aggrieved customer be allowed to watch the girl’s punishment, or even to inflict it? Should a small businessman with only three or four female staff eligible for correction ensure that each receives a more or less equal amount of punishment even if not always strictly deserved, in order to avoid jealousy and ill-feeling?
No chat show host will allow an interview with an attractive female subject to conclude without a detailed enquiry into her opinions about corporal punishment and her personal experiences of it. Eventually some bold man will go a step further and end his interview by taking across his knee that latest Australian singer/actress or blonde sex goddess from Hollywood and giving her a good old-fashioned spanking. Once the precedent is established, the chastisement of charming female celebrities will become a pleasingly familiar sight. They will even come prepared for it, perhaps bringing a favourite cane, and the latest fashions will be designed to display a well-whipped bottom to the best advantage.
Celebrities will also appear in a programme called, The Trial. Week after week, some lovely lady will consent to be the defendant in a mock trial. However absurd the charges, the verdict will invariably be ‘Guilty!’ and the blushing culprit must accept whatever public correction the judge — the genuine High Court kind — may decide upon. The defendants need not all be from the entertainment world. Models, authors, journalists, sports girls, weather girls, politicians, lady barristers, any number of decorative but otherwise useless Sloane Rangers, all would qualify, if in good health and reasonably attractive. Even, perhaps, junior members of the House of Windsor.Before these desirable things can happen, though, the censors, the bigots, the We-know-what’s-best-for-you brigade will have to disappear. Don’t be down-hearted, friends! The day will come!